Why You’re Still Stuck

A few years ago I decided that work sucked.

I decided that I was a pretty smart person and should be using my skills to earn myself money.… not someone else money.

So I quit my job and moved in with my mom for a summer with the plan to launch my internet business, make something of myself, and live my dreams.

What happened?

Well, like many other people who decide to make a change….

I made a decision, and then I got stuck.

If you’re stuck then you are most likely in one of the following situations…. and don’t worry, I’ve been in them both.  Here’s a few tips to help you get unstuck, get moving, and get where you want to be!

1. You Don’t Know What To Do

This was my initial stumbling block.

I joined a network marketing company and quit my job with some money saved up and the intention of making the company so successful that I would never have to work again.

Funny enough, four months later…. I was back in a job.

Because I didn’t know WHAT to do!

I spent those four months pretty much trying to solve this problem.  Now this was back in 2008 when there was not as much free training, sharing info, and general help online as is available today.  So all I had to go on was what my mentor told me.  And unfortunately, they never really said anything SPECIFIC.

I would here phrases like “take massive action” and “just make a decision to be successful”…. and I’d think “Yeah, I’d LOVE to be taking action… but doing WHAT????

It was so frustrating to never be told exactly what to do, just these vague ideas like use Google advertising without any help on how that actually worked.

I still now sometimes think back regretfully on all the wasted time wondering what to do to get leads for my business.  But I’m still glad it happened because it showed me a few things.

It showed me what it felt like to be trying to achieve success and have mentors who weren’t specific and who seemed afraid to tell me what they were actually doing (I guess they didn’t want competition, LOL).

It showed me how disempowering it is to have someone tell you they are going to help you make money only to give you vague answers and let you struggle alone.

And most importantly, it showed me that failure isn’t all that scary.

I gave up a nice rental home, a job, and a life in Ireland to try something.  When it didn’t work out guess what I did.  Moved back to Ireland, got the exact same job, and a lovely rental home.  Basically, I lost nothing but time (ok… and a bit of money on credit card debt), and I gained a LOAD of important lessons.

I knew that I would never again join a business based on excitement alone, that I would need to find a way to stop relying on mentors, and take things into my own hands to learn how to market myself.  I knew I would never be stuck again.

2. You Know What To Do, But Don’t Do It!

When after several months of working and pretty much giving up on my dreams to work from home I came across a young guy that was not only doing well himself, but actually TRAINING people on real things and specific strategies to get leads for a home business I was intrigued.

I knew that my problem before had been WHAT to do… here was the answer.

So I dove back in, but this time with a hardened attitude.

I no longer trusted what people told me, I was wary.

I had the attitude that I would wait until I saw something work BEFORE I put my heart into my business.

But guess what happens when your heart isn’t in your business, or you don’t really believe in success.


This time I knew WHAT to do… but I didn’t do it.

I suppose I was trying to protect myself because I had been so terribly disappointed at my initial failure that I was afraid to let myself believe.

But without belief, without a KNOWING that you will be successful if you simply do the work…. the work doesn’t happen.

Oh I would do bits here and there, and then blame others and my circumstances when nothing happened.

I don’t even consider this time in my business as failing, I see it as the time when I just stopped.  I didn’t open my heart to even the possibility of success so I never really started.

Getting Unstuck

I want you to stop and think about an elephant with a rider on its back.

The elephant is a powerful force that can move shockingly big loads, but doesn’t know which direction to go to achieve what it wants to achieve.

The rider is intelligent and knows the path to get to where it wants to go… but without the elephant it can’t move much.

The elephant needs the rider to tell it where to go, and the rider needs the power of the elephant to actually get there.

Without the elephant the rider will never be able to move loads down the right path.

Without the rider the elephant goes charging in the complete wrong direction and never ends up where it wants to be.

No I probably don’t need to tell you that this is a metaphor for your mind.

The elephant is your emotional (unconscious) side, and the rider your logical (conscious) side.

The rider needs to know where to go, what to tell the elephant to do.

The elephant needs to WANT to go there.  If it doesn’t want to move in the same direction as the rider you will simply go in circles.

You get unstuck by making sure the rider has a clear roadmap to follow, that it knows what to do. And by making sure the elephant WANTS to go there so it wont make you veer offcourse.

Both need to know where “there” is.  There has to be a destination.

How I Unstick My Team

1. I make a clear team goal (engages the elephant, gives the rider a destination)

Our current team goal is for ten people to hit a 10k month in June.  It’s a specific number with a specific end date.

The team can think about this number and imagine what life would look like ifyou made 10k a month.  They think about how they could stay home with the kids,what vacation they would book, what they would buy their spouse.

It makes them emotionally engaged enough to make better decisions.  When they are faced with the decision of watching tv or working, they choose work because they KNOW that, that 10k is worth more than any tv show.

2. I make a clear path

In my team tools section I have six daily steps for my team members to complete, so when they sit down with whatever time they are able to carve out for their business they don’t waste a second.  They know what to do, they know how to do it, and they don’t waste time on silly activities.

3. I build their belief (engage the elephant)

Everyone uses different evidence to help them believe something, but constant stories can help them change beliefs.  It took me a long time to engage my elephant because I had a couple failures under my belt, and I carried a crappy belief that I was always going to fail.  Now that I see myself as successful I have become successful.

The good thing for the team is that the company we work with actually gives us real data.  They could explain statistics and show exactly what the people who make 10k a month are doing.  How much they are selling, etc.

Armed with this knowledge we could also look at the people who have achieved this and realize that they aren’t specifal… they are just doing the work.

If you feel stuck. Pick a destination, create a road map, and gather evidence that YOU CAN DO IT!

Get support of a team working together towards a common goal, learn more about what our team does here.


Leave A Reply (4 comments so far)

  1. 2dayswoman
    2 years ago

    Great post, I’ve really enjoyed reading this. I like the ‘Elephant’ part, it’s a good example. I guess if you’re not truly passionate about something it won’t work.

    • Niamh
      2 years ago

      Thanks Raquel. Yeah, you really need passion to make anything big happen. The good news is that passion also makes it fun! :-)

  2. Ida Morgan
    2 years ago

    Just always keep moving forward. Whatever consequences your decision may lead you, at least you did something you really want. :)

    • Niamh
      2 years ago

      That’s totally true!

      It’s so sad when people give up out of fear. That’s one thing my initial failures taught me, to go all the way 100%. If you fail, it’s not that bad. If you succeed it’s lifechanging!